david capogna

Let’s travel back in time to the summer of 2005 (after the stroke, and the infection from the TPM tube,) I realized my body had changed, specifically my…umh…breasts. To be even more specific, my nipples were oversensitive, but in a really awful way. At one point, I was put on Andro-gel , which is a low form of testosterone applied to the stomach as a gel. The doctor's intent was to increase my appetite, rather than increasing the testosterone in my body. I weighed 114 pounds in June 2005, I had lost so much weight from the liver disease, stroke, and the infection; anything to increase my appetite would have been a plus. As a result, I couldn't even in sleep on my stomach, because my nipples were SO delicate, it was painful! My doctor and I decided to stop the AndroGel, and I would just have to concentrate on feeding myself constantly. I was spending the summer of 2005 in the “penthouse prison,” so all I really needed to do was call on my manservant, Eddie, to feed me. By early fall, my nipples were appropriately sensitive, just the way I like them. Months and years went by, and for what seemed like a lifetime, my nipples still weren’t the same as they were before the stroke, which happened in April 2005. I had other things to worry about like putting my weight back on, building up stamina, learning how to talk and write again, and a year and a half of mental disorder which caused me to want to kill myself, almost every day… shall I go on?! Let's just say, my nipples were not on the top of my list.

Moving forward to March 2008, I'm newly single, got a rocked-out apartment in Hell's Kitchen, and I'm looking for a little mojo enhancement! I made an appointment with my old friend…hee hee, Dr. Michael Faust , my gastroenterologist. Dr. Faust diagnosed me with cirrhosis of the liver in February 2004, and later in July he started giving me Spironolactone , a medicine which lessens the buildup of ascites, or water on the belly. The Spironolactone, or water pill, was not really doing the job, especially around the time that I had the stroke, probably due to the fact that I was suffering from encephalopathy (see “tummy trouble” for more details.) I was a little hesitant about telling Dr. Faust why I was there. Yes, even David Capogna from davidcapogna.com-post-your-entire-life’s-medical-history-online, was a little bit embarrassed. Dr. Faust hadn't seen be for over a year, he thought I looked great, full of energy and I had regained a lot of my weight. I hesitantly took off my shirt, and without even getting off the chair he was sitting on, Dr. Faust said you're suffering from a classic case of gynecomastia. “Gyno…what” Gynecomastia , (or “man-boobies,” as I like to call them,) is most prevalent in boys who are in the midst of going through puberty. Somehow, there is testosterone and estrogen racing through their bodies and sometimes both stay in their system. In addition, it's the most prevalent side effects of taking Spironolactone for several years…ahhh, now I'm getting it! My original intention was either to start the some type of testosterone supplement to fix my “man-boobies.” Before I go on, my case of gynecomastia was very subtle. I spent a lot of time with my shirt off, mainly swimming and sunbathing, with my parents in Florida, my extended family in the Adirondacks, and even my friends in Palm Springs at the Parker Hotel. No one really noticed; that I could tell, but for me it was torture!

Dr. Faust explained that there would be several steps to the process, first we would discontinue Spironolactone immediately, and it could possibly take up to two months for the meds to be completely out of my system. As I'm writing this, I've been off of Spironolactone for a week. In two days I felt my nipples returning to normal, as the testosterone took over. After my appointment with Dr. Faust I also had a blood test, to see if I needed more testosterone. If this is the case, I would be given AndroGel, Testim or another testosterone supplement. Ultimately, I would have to have the fat surgically removed from around my breasts. As most of you people had read my website know, I have no fat whatsoever on my body, and it definitely shows up in my face. As a result, I have been getting Sculptra (a biodegradable substance) injected periodically into my face. It's expensive but, “I'm worth it!” and in actuality it's better than silicone or anything permanent. I speak with my mother almost every day, whether she's in Florida, at home in upstate New York, or in the Adirondacks. When I explained to her what was about my gynecomastia she was elated. She always wanted to transfer her fat onto my body, which I repeatedly told her could not be done, but it became this unending joke between us. My mother had an idea, what about transferring that valuable fat from my “man-boobies” to my face, why didn't I think of that…DAMN?!

"If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade" but I say it’s more like “life gives you man-boobies, inject them into your face, reduce your age by 10 years, increase your testosterone and you’re REALLY BRINGIN’ SEXY BACK!”

I recently got back from LA, where I went to my old college friend’s wedding. Aimee, the bride, is originally from LA, actually Bel Aire, to be exact. I went to college with Aimee at Hampshire College in Massachusetts; we both lived in the dorms, on the same floor. One of the main reasons I chose Hampshire, was because they had single rooms for all freshmen. I had never shared a room with anyone; I had basically grown up alone, because my sisters were 14 and 15 years older than I was. Anyway, enough about me, this blog is a tribute to Aimee!!!

Aimee’s fiancé, Kieran, is originally from Paris. They both met at Dartmouth College, where she is an English professor concentrating on Irish literature, like James Joyce. And Kieran, is studying to get his Ph.D., as well. The reason I titled this blog “Three Weddings and a Funeral,” because in France, you first have to go before a mayor to actually get married. The ceremony with the priest or rabbi, is just a formality. So first, they had to present themselves to the mayor, not in Paris, they were actually married at her fiancé's parents country house in a small town, with a population of 50 people. Then they had a day wedding, formal ceremony with the priest, and about 75 guests, in a church that was like 500 years old, and right out of ‘A Year in Provence.’ Then the party continued in Los Angeles, where they were married for the third time, at a night wedding, in a fabulous deco restaurant, in the historic district of downtown. And I'm sure everybody wants to know, did the bride have two dresses, but of course! Aimee wore a duchess satin gown with a train, trimmed with embroidery. Aimee is what I aspire to be, not only is she an only child, but she's a Virgo born one week after me. Nobody knows that god is in the details, like Aimee!!!

Now it's back to me, ‘the funeral’ is the death of my relationship with my boyfriend. But it wasn't a sad one, during this trip I met a lot of people at the wedding, who were very inspired by my story. How I could pick up the pieces, make it to the wedding, and could celebrate in Aimee's happiness. I also, saw a lot of close friends in LA, and it was good reconnecting with all of them. In addition, this was the first time that I drove alone, on the highway, outside of New York City, after my stroke, which happened in April 2005. Moreover, this was the first time I ever drove a Prius, Toyota’s infamous hybrid vehicle. For those of you who haven't driven a Prius, it is definitely an exercise in cognitive abilities, to say the least!

Now, I'd like to thank all of those that have gotten me generous gifts for my registry, and helped me move. I am planning a dinner for those of you who lent a hand, in any way, setting me up in my new place. I will contact you individually, but I'd like to coordinate it so everyone can join me. In addition, I'm having formal stationery made up, to send thank you notes to everyone, and a reminder that I will be having a holiday party in December 2007.

I'd like to reflect back on what happened to me in the last week and a half, during my move. It was not pretty, not as bad as being in the ICU with 106 fever, packed in ice, with a heart rate of 160 beats per minute, but still bad. For some reason, the electricity was not turned on in my new apartment on August 1, some complications with the former tenant not paying their ConEd bill. The electricity was not turned on until August 2 at 12 noon, and if you were in New York City, we were having a heat wave. To top things off, when I was returning the U-Haul van, I realized that I had lost my wallet. I was so tired, drained mentally and physically, and standing in line I just broke down crying. What did I do, I called my ex-boyfriend, I knew he was at the gym, which was around the corner from the U-Haul place. Ultimately, I stayed with my ex-boyfriend for the night, I slept downstairs in the office on the pullout bed. In the morning, my ex-boyfriend ordered me all new credit cards, and a license, to boot. So I guess it is an amicable breakup!!! (The wallet was send to my ex-boyfriends apartment, after I misplaced it in a restaurant on the day of the move.)

In a few days, I had the air-conditioning, the TV, the phone, and most importantly, I could get online! It was late Sunday night, and I was unwrapping more packages from Crate & Barrel, and Bed Bath& Beyond, but there was no one there to share them with. In addition, the late-night movie was about a young woman, who got divorced, and had just moved into a new apartment, with a loud and obnoxious upstairs neighbor, played by Ally Sheedy?! (Sad on top of sad.)

Just last night, I opened another box from Crate & Barrel. This is the first one I got with gift-wrap, and I have to say they do a pretty nice job with a grosgrain ribbon. The gift included two champagne flutes “so I could celebrate.” Of course I can't drink, because of the liver disease. So I ordered a pizza from Domino's, which I do on a regular basis, and I went out, and bought some sparkling grape juice to start the beginning of my new life!

“I-just-broke-up-with-my-boyfriend-and-I-need-to-furnish-my-entire-apartment-registry!”

I was overwhelmed by the response I got from my last blog, my Blackberry was ringing off the hook. Friends, family, people that I worked with years ago, some of who hadn't ever seen my website, all wanting to help me out. Friends of mine from LA, San Francisco, Portland, and even Hong Kong have contacted me. Two of my friends are opening up a bed and breakfast in Palm Springs, they were so inspired by my ehousewarming, they're going to use the same idea themselves. Thank you all so much for your support, during this troubling time for me. It's good to know through the magic of email I can reach out to so many people.

As a result of the overwhelming support, I registered at three different places. First, can I talk about the process of registering, something which I knew nothing about. Crate & Barrel was my first stop; they had registering down to a science. You got a gun, not a real gun, something to enter all the SKU numbers into, and after you are finished, you docked the gun into a computer, and set up your registry by yourself. Another thing, was that I went to the SoHo Crate & Barrel, the salespeople were perfectly happy with helping me out with my ehousewarming gifts. I picked out my China, with a gay sales associate, and then I got help from a girl, who just happen to live alone as well, to pick out my cookware. I was frantically taking pictures with my digital camera, but little did I know, the photos show up on the registry list once you printed it out. Like I said, Crate & Barrel is the place to go to register! I think I spent like 3 1/2 hours scouring the aisles, so I was pretty exhausted. But once I entered it online, I could access it from any computer on the Crate & Barrel website, I could add or delete items. It was so simple a caveman could do it!

My second stop, was Bad Bath & Beyond, for cleaning supplies. This was in the heart of Chelsea, and it's actually right below my old Gap/Old Navy office. I went straight to the dining department, where was greeted by this overly perky queen (gay man,) who congratulated me on my housewarming. I didn't get into any details, I just kept it's strictly business. I had to fill out a form, with the old address and the new address, a password, but I was just so tired, I said I would even put all the products I wanted at home on my computer.

On Monday morning, I had an appointment with my dermatologist on the upper East side. On the way home, I passed by a Pottery Barn on the way to the subway. I had viewed a mirror on the Pottery Barn website, which I had to have! It's amazing how in Manhattan, if you change neighborhoods, and it's like you go to another planet entirely. The salesperson was like “what?,” …a housewarming? The woman I was working with had to look it up on the Pottery Barn website, and then she discovered that you can register for a wedding, anniversary, starting college, etc. etc.,….AND a housewarming to boot! The only thing I wanted was a mirror, which was exclusively online. And even though they offered me a scan gun, there was nothing to shoot. I had to enter the item myself, on my computer.

What did I learn, go where they have computers in the store, and stay in gay friendly areas, like Chelsea, SoHo, West Hollywood, The Castro, or for the international set: Ibiza , Mykonos, or anywhere in Thailand!

You'll have to bear with me, I'm trying to make this as simple as possible, so my 72-year-old mother can shop for gifts online. Some of this may be redundant, as long as you know where to go, the links are included on my blog.

Crate & Barrel – dining and cooking supplies

• second from the left, at the top, click <Gift Registry>, this will only up a drop down menu
• select the top one <Give a Gift Registry Gift>
• search by registrant name, type in “capogna” and “dav,” click <search>
• you get a new page, on the right side click <view registry>
• somehow, I made it look like I was marrying myself?! Please disregard.

Bed Beth & Beyond – cleaning supplies, housekeeping, and bed pillows

• click <Bridal & Gift Registry>
• on a left side, under “Gave a gift,” type in my name, and click <go>
• you get a new page, click <David Capogna> and this will open up my registry

Pottery Barn – wall mirror

• all the way on the rights click <registry>
• on top of a gift box on the right side, click <find a registry>
• type in my name, then scroll down and click <find registry>

Just so you know, the gifts will automatically be sent to Andre’s apartment, before the first of August. (Like I said, I'm friends with all the doormen, and they would do almost anything for me.) On August 1, the shipping address will automatically be changed to my new Hell's Kitchen apartment. All you have to do is just shop! So anything in the dining and cookware department, I kind of need as soon as possible. Again, thank you for all your support, and I hope to see you at my holiday party in December! :) David